Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Personal Deadlines

Ah, the joy of the personal deadline since I have no publishers as of yet when I write I make up my own deadlines to go by. Some are what the hell were you thinking deadlines and others are well anything goes lol. At the moment I have fourteen personal deadlines (since I can't seem to cut and paste on the net on my desktop yet my progress bars are stuck in limbo). My story that had been aimed for the Heatwave is a little too long - 12k too long to be exact and I love how it works. So that short now novella Aroused and Cursed will be polished off and sent to other publishers. I am kind of sad that I didn't make the Heatwave this year but I got a story that I really enjoy out of it so it isn't too bad and besides there is always next January.

Posted by Contessica :: 1:33 PM :: 0 Comments:

Post a Comment

---------------------------------------

Friday, January 12, 2007

Misery knows me by name

Last week I was all gung ho to work and work, then maybe enjoy life a little. Then this week hit, it started out ok your typical week but by Thursday night I have heard from five different people that they are pregnant and two others are getting married. I am delighted for them all, wish them the best of luck and only have good thoughts for their futures. My problem is sitting alone at night surfing the net and seeing happy women with men or baby bumps and it hits so hard I can do nothing but cry. I am so jealous that I feel physically ill, and when I thought I had cried it out of my system a new wave of tears hit me harder than before. I cried off and on for a good three hours last night the pain almost physical like someone had kicked me in the gut.

Why, should I let this bother me- you may ask and I have asked myself that exact same question more times than I care to admit. The answer is frighteningly simple that is what I have always wanted. Even when my hip fusion at fourteen was just an idea and they asked me how I felt about it my reply- quote from my diary I don't care just as long as I can have children naturally.

Poor, silly naive me to think that just because a doctor says I would that it would actually happen. All through high school I was the one teased that I would get pregnant first, just before graduation two friends got pregnant. When twenty-two rolled around and I still hadn't held hands with a man never mind get pregnant another friend had a baby and got married.

From then on as each new year past I bit nails and prayed for a miracle - attempting to date, the bar scene, being hooked up- of course none of it worked out and boy could I tell you some horror stories of how I was treated or looked upon but now isn't the time. 2006 was supposed to be the year that I had my hip replaced and could go on and have some semblance of a life. Sadly this didn't happen- well the replacement happened and my surgeon says that it looks great. But now my other hip has decided to let me know it needs work too. Which means that there is more surgery in my furture- but still no baby or even a man.

So here I sit in the beginning of 2007, at the age of twenty-seven wondering if things will ever get better. At least I have my Gary Oldman movies but is it so wrong to want more?

Posted by Contessica :: 12:54 PM :: 0 Comments:

Post a Comment

---------------------------------------

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Writing Progress

I haven't changed my progress bars but I will eventually some will be lower before (due to the laptop issue) and there will even be some new ones lol. I think I am going to color code them blue for main stream, pink for romance, red for the hotter stuff and some other color for my gothic/paranormal and historical stuff or something like that- still debating.

Anyway I got just under half of my project for the Amber Quill Heatwave done and I quite like it. It won't have a side bar though by the time I change them it will probably already be submitted lol. But it is a contemporary paranormal titled, Aroused and Cursed. Tease that I am that is all I am going to say at the moment I don't want to jinx it.

My piece for the Romance Divas e-book challenge is also coming along nicely I don't want it to be too long though so I may actually have to prune it a little so that it flows just right. Since I am going to be posting it here since I don't have a website as of yet - just need to see what the blogger rules are about steamy stories lol.

Besides Dangerous and Forbidden Pleasures I am now working on another historical - this one is only going to be novella length though. Now I really don't have much more to say except that I am going to London, England in July and I can't wait. Imagine the research I can get done there in my 12 night stay lol - and of course site seeing and all that good stuff.

Posted by Contessica :: 6:45 AM :: 2 Comments:

Post a Comment

---------------------------------------